Just a test post for an experiment.

A penguin foams past the biology.

School's Out

Finished my finals and am home for the summer. Good news: probably will have a part-time internship soon in addition to helping my friend with promoting online. Bad news: currently in a bit of a shitty mood. I really don't quite understand why, I think it's the loneliness that comes with being online and when you feel cut off from other online. When you're online and talking to people or doing something fun, you don't care about whatever else is going on. But when absolutely nothing of interest is going on.. you're kind of there ..alone ultimately. And then you start to get a little teared up and that's why I'm on skype desperately trying to talk to somebody that might help me feel a bit better...and it's kind of working a bit. People can make me laugh pretty easily. which is always a good thing. A distraction from feeling completely and utterly hopeless as a socially defective droid.

Well.. I didn't mean to get all emotional and stuff on here, but sometimes I have one of those spells that lead to necessary sharing of feelings. 

In other news, I've been writing a lot more fandom things that I enjoy thanks to inspiration provided via a new RP partner. Although I have to do it on a secret blog.. my main blog is still "in a relationship" though the partner went missing for over a month now. over a month with no hints of ever coming back. Just deactivate the damn blog already so character can get on with his life already. .. I don't even know what to do in that character. However, on the secret blog, happy awesome relationship featuring relations of.. a certain sort..sexual  which is actually quite interesting and fun to play out and such.

And also I have quite a few tags describing some form of awkwardness in life. Huh. Strange how that happens. Oh well.

Things done today

Hmm today I read this article in the Atlantic about the creator of Braid who is pretty much the most active critic of the gaming industry. And when I listen to some of the things said in the article, one I realize that this guy is a fascinating figure. Two, the guy definitely has a point about the overwhelming majority of current games being about guys shooting things. It's rather boring if I'm quite frank. Hopefully there'll be some creativity in the future, this guy kind of provided some sort of inspiration in regards to that..

Also, I read this article about a favorite artist of mine, rather controversial for some.. actions he has taken which garnered him quite a bit of notoriety. However, reading about the details of his most recent projects and tours kind of reminded me of why I liked him in the first place despite his.. behavior. Interesting person indeed.

I got a 4 out of 5 on  a quiz in Computer Science which makes me happy since I really needed a decent grade in that class. It is the closing time on this semester and I really need to get my things together which I'm working on. I just try to do the best I can/

Hysterical Morning

for topic reasons.

Psychologist Visits

Realization

I just noticed from my past several posts, all I've been really doing is documenting my lack of success on the relationship field. And complaining about my online class. That's not much of a read is it? Though I suppose my life isn't a whole lot to write home about. Maybe I can document some of the things I see on other sites on here. After all, this is a pretty good place to vent about such things and not worry that anyone much will find it. There's always that one person for reasons I don't know why keeps up with the occasional post. Thanks. Or maybe you don't even notice since you're not online often. That could be the case as well. No matter I guess. I think I should get to writing about something else every now and again. I mean I will probably continue to share my thoughts on people and whatever feelings may develop but at the moment, I just want to find other things to write about.

Also, I really need to get back into my fiction writing again. Usually having a mechanical muse would help with this..but sometimes I need a motivation to write in between classes or something. It would be really useful. And I need to do well in my classes but that's a given in most cases.

Wrecked chances and strange feelings

Well, lately I was kind of hurt by the advent of a relationship. Not on my part, no I'd be kind of weirdly happy about it and somewhat giddy. No, the guy that I was having some kind of intense platonic feelings for..at least to the point where I'd pursue some sort of platonic partnership with him. He has a girlfriend now. I wish I could have told him how I felt. And I regret not doing so a hell of a lot. But there really is nothing I can do about it. I can only hope for the best for those two and kind of move on. Does this mean I don't have feelings for him anymore? I doubt it, I still dream about him every now and again. but at the same time I've been focusing my dreams on fictional characters again so..that's nothing new for me.  So I don't know where I want to do now, this is just rather strange. I seem to be over it maybe because the nature of it was mostly platonic with affection, there wasn't some kind of overly strong attachment when it couldn't happen. I did cry and for a few hours I was a bit of a wreck. But, now I'm just kind of quietly indifferent. Though sometimes, I inwardly pretend to gag when I see the guy and his girlfriend get a little ...cuddly to the point where I think they might kiss. They never do,but I really fear that day somehow.  I don't even really know what to say about that anymore. I guess I don't have much to say regarding that.

As for fictional characters, well lately there's been this remake of the Lorax. I haven't even seen it..and frankly I don't much care to when I figured out a bit of the changes made. Still, I find myself drawn to the villain, the once-ler. See..um the movie made him into a human, a rather attractive one at that. And he has an awesome voice which took me by surprise when I listened to his songs from the movie..and a few clips with his speaking voice. It's really just.. very attractive. Sorry if I'm using to many eclipses, I do have this kind of pause in my thinking which I feel compelled to express in my writing somehow. So this results rather than some .-pause- It's not like I'm roleplaying right now.  But I just thought I'd bring that up since I've been having dreams about him lately..and alternate versions of him. It gets rather complex and I won't describe what goes on in those dreams because they get a little much for me. Not necessarily sexual, but it gets very suggestive to say the least.