More things..including grades stress

Hello, I know I haven't written in a while but I've been busy with the end of Pride Week and other things. BUt mostly I've been freaking the hell out because of my grades. For some obnoxious reason, my college actually has freshman do midterm grades and I really don't think mine will be to good. I'm determined to raise my grades but I'm still rather nervous because I think they're sent to my parents. Which will be a bother. However, I feel that I'm doing rather better than my mother the first semester of school so far, so perhaps I shouldn't be as worried as much as I am. It's not like I'm in danger of failing or anything. I just need to do better to get the grades I'd be more comfortable with. 


But in other news, Halloween weekend is coming up and I hadn't done very much Halloween things this year, which is a bummer. So I probably will go to this Halloween party at my school dressed as some aristocrat type person. I have a nice tailcoat, walking stick, some black slacks, neat shoes and a decent shirt for the outfit. However, I desperately wish that I had a top hat. That would be great! But alas, no time to find one.-sigh- I figure at this party it's going to me girls dressed scandalously and boys dressed in a ridiculous fashion, most drinking and dancing. If I can get my mind off of my squash, I might be able to enjoy myself. Other than that I've been working on reading the complete works of H.P.Lovecraft. So good. and truly stories to keep one on the edge.


As for the end of Pride Week, I suppose I can say that I enjoyed myself, the only downer really was the apparent lack of communication. I didn't know that the bowling was canceled until the last minute, didn't know that the panel was canceled until I got there. Didn't know that nobody was there for the movie night on the last day, which really irritated me as I had waited at the location for at least an hour, hoping for someone to show up. I even contacted the head of the organization with no response.That was truly frustrating.


Lately, I've also been found out by my mother about wearing a binder and she doesn't support me getting rid of my breasts because it's "life-changing" and "I don't know myself and shit.." I know that I can change in the future but this seemed truly important to me because I get really dysphoric whenever I see my ridiculously huge breasts for my petite size. It sucks..I was just ready to return to campus after that wreck.

Tidings of Joy and Irritation

Greetings I have news from the offline world. Most importantly regarding coming out day and OUT! at LTU and friends. I attended the meeting last night after SODA rehearsal and it went fantastically. My friend went with and I came out to a few people using the cards that I had made in advance and it went over really people. They thought the cards were interesting.Huzzah. So I'm looking forward to getting closer to these very nice folks and pride week. Woooo. So that is pretty neat.


As the title mentions, I have tidings of joy, I have mentioned the joy part in the first part. And now for the irritation:warning,a little talk of biology and how it irritates me. 

A post about roleplaying plots and drama

warning,roleplaying and hetalia things.fyi, anthropomorphic nations..thus referred to Eduard-Estonia, Raivis-Latvia, Tino-Finland, Sweden-Berwald 

Things about Coming Out Day, school organizations and random adventures

Well, today is coming out day and I suppose I should make some sort of comment on whether I'm planning to do anything for the day. I suppose that I should and I do have something. I have drawn symbols all upon my life arm referring to the things I identify as such as the null symbol for neutrois, the ace of spades and gradient triangle for asexuality and the transyada symbol as well. I also have a few sheets of paper filled out with these symbols explaining their meaning and significance. However, the question is whether I will do anything regarding this. I kind of hope that the drawings will be noticed so I have the opportunity to explain myself fully, though because I'm not exactly outgoing, makes this process rather difficult. I wish I could just write this all out and have people read it instead of trying to verbalize it. Talking just makes me rather uncomfortable especially when it's about subjects that actually concern me in my personal life. Though I am out at least as asexual to a few people at my dorm, I did it accidentally last night [more on what happened later], Rashida and Lawrence, sophomores who I had recently befriended[well refriended with Rashida, we went to middle school and 2 years of high school toether] were in the car talking about some guy that they think  wasn't straight. They speculated possibly gay, before coming to the tentative point that he was asexual. At this point, I woo-ed, prompting them to ask whether I was asexual which I confirmed. It was rather easy.Hell, I wish coming out to other people would be as easy as that. I need to pick who i would come out to and when, why and how and it's just such a bother really. I think might just direct them to this blog instead. It appears to lay things out pretty neatly, even if it's a bit on the overly verbose side of things.


In related the news, Lawrence Tech's LGBTQ organization OUT! at LTU and Friends is having their first general meeting tonight. And I'm scared as hell.I know the organizer, Brandon and he's nice and my friend Kenny from Society of Dramatic Arts is going as well. But I'm still bleeding terrified. Because I really don't know how I'm supposed to explain these things about myself. I'm not gay, lesbian, bisexual..I'm kind of transgender, but neutrois is technically under genderqueer and goodness knows if they include asexuality under the rainbow soup. Well I think they do, they have the link to AVEN on the website which made me inexplicably happy.It is times like these where I wish I had a so much more confidence and some kind of support somehow. But now I'm just kind of in a strange place of what the fuck do I dooo~


Well to get my mind off of those anxieties, I've decided to talk about some random adventures that took place late last night. I was hanging out with some people on my floor when Howard, sophomore [I think] decided to lead us to what was an abandoned house for the longest time, except for the rather recent move-in of some people. So a group of about 6 people walked around midnight to the place and approached as close as most would go. I went a little bit closer the most, still Howard and a girl named Sammy went around to the backdoor but didn't go in. There was a lot of funny talk happening, surrounding the existence of "deercoon"-the offspring of a walrus and something else entirely random. It was great, just doing something for the hell of it. Heading back to the dorm, I met up with Lawrence and Rashida and went to McDonalds, on the way I outed myself as previously mentioned. And there were some random conversations there as well. All very much entertaining, totally worth staying up until 1:30 in the morning.No big deal.-shrug-


Well, now I have to go face the rest of the day, may post about something intermittently.

More things to know about

I forgot to mention this in my introduction post but something that should be known about me is that I am a nerd. And a geek. I am a nerd about geeky things and I am a geek about nerdy things. I love learning about what people are obsessed with as well as cultivating obsessions of my own. The main one of these obsessions is music, though in the past I have geeked out [and sometimes continue to do so] over history[ancient and presidential in particular], dance, art, books, pop culture[oh my 1980s period, oh dear that was something else, I'm still having moments of that carry over with me to this day. I mean, why else would a 17 year old know how to Vogue. And have seen all the classic 80s teen movies-though that's more of a tradition thing than anything else] Nonetheless, I like talking about the things that make me happy smile.[shh go with it]  

Something else that one should know. I do like anime, as much as I don't really try to keep up as much as I used to aspire to, I still have the series that I adore. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Fruits Basket. And to a lesser degree Naruto, mostly because that series when in directions that i didn't care for whatsoever [I mean seriously, ASUMA SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD.DAMN IT.] I have an overbearing passion fo Case Closed/Detective Conan [what's not to love about a 17 year old genius trapped in a 10 year old body, solving mysteries and being a badass. ANd Tengen toppen gurren laggan, but that's a gimme there.[so many good times with that] Still, I figure there are series I should have watched and never bothered to take the time to and strangely enough I really don't regret it at all. I mean, TV Tropes exist for a reason. I really don't mind the spoilers at all, seriously. 

Another thing recently, is uh. Hetalia. personified countries. I roleplay as one of them, a magnificent nerd known as Estonia. But I suppose that just makes sense for me.Nerd portrays nerd, quite well. I have my sources in regards to that.

I also love lists,I love websites that do lists. And so I am addicted to Cracked, AV Club, explosm [webcomic], xkcd[webcomic], penny arcade[webcomic]topless robot[site for teh nerds] I know I mentioned as many webcomics as I did, but I love webcomics as well. Hmm in addition, I have a passion for Mythbusters, I used to love the History Channel [but they changed on me man, they CHANGED] and I do really enjoy Oddities[at least that's what I think the show is called, it's really cool though. It's about this shop in New York, that sells the weirdest crap, fantastic really].

Of course, I also really love video games, despite me not owning a console at the moment.Now I know "HOW THE HELL DO YOU LIKE VIDEO GAMES BUT DON'T PLAY THEM REGULARLY." Trust me I have my ways. And no need to yell at me, I do that enough myself.:|

I suppose that's all you should know about my passions for the time being. Music, which I hadn't much mentioned, needs a whole another post.Which will probably be more emotion-based. I'm not entirely sure.

Introduction among other nonsense

Greetings, my name is Mari Weaver and I decided to more or less reinvent myself.At last blogger wise. I have had an account on here before, which is actually still active. I just haven't had much to do with it in months which leads to me more or less abandoning it.Besides tumblr kind of got in the way of me writing about myself on that platform. Now I have opted to use my tumblr in less personal ways, more about rp-ing less about me really, I needed another platform to write about myself in a bit longer form. So I have returned to blogger once more in a new state of mind and new state period. But I think it's best for me to spend some time introducing myself.


I'm a freshman at Lawrence Technological University, though even that standing won't last for long, I could be a sophomore before this school year ends as I arrived with 12 credits from a dual-enrollment school. This shortens the expected time of me being here to perhaps the normal 4 years or less. In comparison to the expectation that students pursuing a bachelor's program here take about 5 years to graduate. There are larger than normal credit requirements,admittedly so I definitely understand why. Not to mention that some of them are double majoring. But that's not the point. I'm majoring in Computer Science with a concentration in Game Software Development, with which I hope to enter the gaming industry one day. It's always been something I've liked though the intensity of interest has greatly increased in the past few years. But that's another story, that I may write about soon.


To continue the introduction, I'm also a quasiromantic, neutrois asexual. Let's break these terms down just in case anyone might be unfamiliar.Asexual- having no sexual attraction to anyone [in my case in addition, I have no interest in having sex with anyone..as a repulsed asexual, the thought of me doing anything sexual completely squicks me out and terrifies me]. Neutrois-neither male or female and wanting to remove all secondary physical characteristics that may mark a person as such.[in my case, my breasts. I hate them. a lot.though once more that's a conversation for another time, perhaps soon.] Quasiromantic-this is something I found on transyada.net[awesome people] that resonates with me: resembling romantic, but not quite. [I can talk about preferred relationship ideas in another time as well]


Well now I've covered that, interests.I'm sorry everyone, I just have a tendency to ramble but I think the title covers that pretty well.I never knew I could talk so much and descriptively about myself okay?! Interests:, I really enjoy music of all sorts, though lately I've had an obsession with psychobilly,synthpop, and electronic music. I may or may not write separately about all these genres of music among others. I love to read and write about all kinds of things and I like to draw. Some drawing may end up on here because I'm a derp.


I think that's mostly it. You will see thoughts on college, friends[or lack thereof], activities, asexuality, gender, music, transyadas.all kinds of things that are relevant to my life as it happens. And hopefully I'll keep up with it. It seems rather promising so far.