Well, today is coming out day and I suppose I should make some sort of comment on whether I'm planning to do anything for the day. I suppose that I should and I do have something. I have drawn symbols all upon my life arm referring to the things I identify as such as the null symbol for neutrois, the ace of spades and gradient triangle for asexuality and the transyada symbol as well. I also have a few sheets of paper filled out with these symbols explaining their meaning and significance. However, the question is whether I will do anything regarding this. I kind of hope that the drawings will be noticed so I have the opportunity to explain myself fully, though because I'm not exactly outgoing, makes this process rather difficult. I wish I could just write this all out and have people read it instead of trying to verbalize it. Talking just makes me rather uncomfortable especially when it's about subjects that actually concern me in my personal life. Though I am out at least as asexual to a few people at my dorm, I did it accidentally last night [more on what happened later], Rashida and Lawrence, sophomores who I had recently befriended[well refriended with Rashida, we went to middle school and 2 years of high school toether] were in the car talking about some guy that they think wasn't straight. They speculated possibly gay, before coming to the tentative point that he was asexual. At this point, I woo-ed, prompting them to ask whether I was asexual which I confirmed. It was rather easy.Hell, I wish coming out to other people would be as easy as that. I need to pick who i would come out to and when, why and how and it's just such a bother really. I think might just direct them to this blog instead. It appears to lay things out pretty neatly, even if it's a bit on the overly verbose side of things.
In related the news, Lawrence Tech's LGBTQ organization OUT! at LTU and Friends is having their first general meeting tonight. And I'm scared as hell.I know the organizer, Brandon and he's nice and my friend Kenny from Society of Dramatic Arts is going as well. But I'm still bleeding terrified. Because I really don't know how I'm supposed to explain these things about myself. I'm not gay, lesbian, bisexual..I'm kind of transgender, but neutrois is technically under genderqueer and goodness knows if they include asexuality under the rainbow soup. Well I think they do, they have the link to AVEN on the website which made me inexplicably happy.It is times like these where I wish I had a so much more confidence and some kind of support somehow. But now I'm just kind of in a strange place of what the fuck do I dooo~
Well to get my mind off of those anxieties, I've decided to talk about some random adventures that took place late last night. I was hanging out with some people on my floor when Howard, sophomore [I think] decided to lead us to what was an abandoned house for the longest time, except for the rather recent move-in of some people. So a group of about 6 people walked around midnight to the place and approached as close as most would go. I went a little bit closer the most, still Howard and a girl named Sammy went around to the backdoor but didn't go in. There was a lot of funny talk happening, surrounding the existence of "deercoon"-the offspring of a walrus and something else entirely random. It was great, just doing something for the hell of it. Heading back to the dorm, I met up with Lawrence and Rashida and went to McDonalds, on the way I outed myself as previously mentioned. And there were some random conversations there as well. All very much entertaining, totally worth staying up until 1:30 in the morning.No big deal.-shrug-
Well, now I have to go face the rest of the day, may post about something intermittently.
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